This morning started out terribly, I mean truly terribly, but it actually started last night. I was going to go to the gym after work to do cardio, but just could not muster the energy. I decided to just rest instead. I watched Armageddon, cried when Bruce Willis died and went for a walk to pick up my bikini for the competition. The bottoms were too small so I decided to order another one that I thought would fit better. A too small bottom is not ok to walk on stage with.
All day long I had been starving, you know when you want to take food by the handful and shove it in your face? I was like that. Popcorn would have been ideal. But I thought, no, I’ll make some protein sludge. And then I will have dinner. Both were delicious, neither satisfied the hungry beast inside me.
I had a square of dark chocolate to try to have a treat and see if that helped… nope.
I went for the walk to grab the bikini and take my mind of things. When I got back I tried the suit on and thought that would give me motivation to eat well. Nope.
It was 8:30 pm and I NEEDED sugar. I can’t even describe to you the ridiculous craving I was having and I could not for the life of me figure out why. I tried having a small apple with cinnamon, that usually does the trick if it’s really carbs I want and it’s not too bad for the diet. But no, not 15 minutes later I was still dying for some sugar. What the hell?!
So I caved. 3 and a half weeks from the competition and I stood in front of my pantry dipping raw almonds into raw chocolate honey (this is amazing stuff, it’s pure honey mixed with dutch process cocoa). Chocolate honey dripped all over my fingers and I did not care a smidge. I was in heaven. I scarfed about 10 almonds, and maybe 2-3 tbsp of the sweet stuff before I got control and put the lid on the jar. What just happened?!
I texted my boyfriend who is amazing and told me to just enjoy the treat because I’ve been working out like a maniac and I deserved it. He’s the best. Surprisingly I felt way better after this mini sugar binge (I wouldn’t call it a real binge because there wasn’t a huge volume of food and the food I was eating was actually clean good food, just not diet friendly). I was expecting to feel a horrible sugar rush and crash, but no, I felt great. Great, but extremely confused. I never crave sugar… like literally never. I crave chocolate, ice cream, steak, and sometimes Bailey’s but not just generic-any-way-I-can-get-it sugar.
So I went to bed confused and wondering what was happening in my body. I resolved to do some extra cardio today to make up for the extra sugar and calories yesterday. I woke up early and went to the gym. I felt like crap when I woke up…. I was craving sugar AGAIN!!! What is happening? And then it hit me… about a week ago I reintroduced fat burners (thermogenics) into my regime (m-power by rivalus) which really help increase my heart rate and body temp especially during cardio. I had gone on them before and went off them because they bothered my stomach and some other vague reason I couldn’t remember. Well I have remembered…. they make me ravenous and specifically crave sweets. It makes dieting go from relatively easy to absolute hell and a constant battle of will over want.
So I am throwing them out, these expensive diet pills. It will take a day or 2 to fully get it out of my system and I’m annoyed at myself for forgetting this in the first place, but thankfully I did remember and didn’t try to struggle through.
So I got to the gym with my new realization and intended to bang out some cardio, but oh wait! I forgot my headphones… good lord this morning was awful. I stepped on the treadmill and started going. I got to 6 minutes… and my will power fled. Ok let’s try some chest, which is the body part I planned on training this afternoon. I did 3 sets of dips and 3 sets of push ups on the bosu ball and decided that I would try to make this a whole body cardio workout. I find it easier to push through a weight session than cardio.
So I did this: The terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day workout
- 5 minute warm up
- 3 sets of 12 dips
- 3 sets of 15 pushups on upside down bosu ball
- 5 sets of 15 kettlebell swings
- 5 sets of 10 cross body cable pulls each side
- 2 sets of 20 jumping step ups
- 1 tabata of alternating jumping step up and push ups
- 3 sets of 10 roman chair straight leg lifts
- Stretch for 10 minutes
I was sweating bullets and by the end of it was feeling a little better. I started talking to a trainer who told me about a couple workouts I should try and gave me a bit of motivation. He even offered to do a workout with me tonight! Apparently the universe had a different plan for me today.
Sometimes you have to listen to what the universe is telling you. Today it was telling me to do things the old fashioned way, no magic pill is going to help and it will probably (definitely) make things harder. Once I came to that realization and committed to changing it the universe rewarded me with a new opportunity to train.